Tuesday, May 11, 2004

The cart downstairs was out of these apple-raspberry muffin-cake things I really like. I try to avoid them too often, since I'm sure they're terrible for me, but sometimes, driving here in the morning, I get a craving, and it keeps me from wanting to drive into oncoming traffic and just end it all. So this morning I had a craving. And they didn't have any. So I had to settle for what looked like a cheese danish, but it's actually not cheese, it's just a big glob of frosting. It's really quite terrible. I don't understand how the apple-raspberry thing can be so good, and everything else they have can be so awful. Although now that I think about it, it's kind of like some of the associates here, actually. They'll hand me research summaries that are terrific, absolutely terrific -- but ask them to do anything outside their comfort zone -- think of some outside-the-box legal claims to make, investigate our client's competitors, anything interesting that takes some more mental horsepower than searching on Westlaw, and I get crap. Maybe the apple-raspberry things are frozen and the cart guy doesn't actually make them. Maybe he buys them from a good bakery somewhere and marks them up 50% for all of the captive lawyer customers he's got who can afford $2.50 for a muffin. Maybe it's all a lie. Maybe life is a lie. Maybe if my cleaning people didn't keep cleaning the stray paper clips off my desk, I could actually find a paper clip in the morning when I need one. Yesterday I spent a good thirty minutes making a long paper clip chain, with a whole box of paper clips, and then I left it on my desk when I went home -- and this morning, it's gone. The cleaning people think paper clips are garbage. And they think garbage belongs scattered around the hall, in bags they leave there and forget to come back and dump. If I were to leave the rest of my frosting danish, half-eaten, on my desk, it would be there in the morning. But my paper clip chain? Gone.

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