Wednesday, June 28, 2006

It seems that lots of people want to work at the firm. Or it's all a scam for the free books and t-shirts. Since I don't have anyone's first-year grades or know where they went to law school, I'm completely in the dark about how to make these hiring decisions. So come Monday, I'm going to post a bunch of the responses on here and you can help me choose the ten winners. Here's a sneak peek at a few of the 175 I've already received:

"I have the innate ability to locate the most random of emails with stacks of paper thousands of pages thick. Not to mention the facts that I can go over 3 days without seeing the light of day and can subsist on chips and cookies from the nearest vending machine. Plus my favorite past-time involves snitching on those I call my closest coworkers."

"I don't require any sunlight, food, or fresh air to function. Just sit me in front of a computer screen or box of documents, and I can go at it for days on end without ceasing."

"With a new marriage, shaky mental state, and math skills that usually result in the decimal place moving to the right a few spaces, I have plenty to offer your firm. While I do hold on to certain ideals, I am confident that after the first five 90 hour weeks those will no longer be a concern. Once the ideals are gone, my marriage is no longer a factor, and my math skills are put to work, my billable hours will soar. Ultimately, I hope your firm can help me achieve my lifelong goal of working like a dog for 5 or 6 years as a junior associate before jumping out of a window during the Christmas party simply to save the firm the trouble of breaking the news that I will never make partner."

"I like money and I will do what I am told if you give me a lot."

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