Anonymous Lawyer

Back in the office bright and early on a Monday, after some elective plastic surgery this weekend. Everyone seems to be doing it -- Anonymous Wife encouraged that I give it a try after she had a good experience last year that's made life much more pleasant around the mirrors at home. And what better way to spend grotesque amounts of disposable income than on making yourself look younger.

On Friday night, my assistant and her family came over for dinner. It was a lovely evening. We ordered in from a local Mexican restaurant, and everyone loved it. My assistant and I probably talked too much office gossip and bored the others. I learned that we've got one associate who has slept with no less than three clients, one associate who routinely bills twice as many hours as he spends on writing assignments, and one associate who doesn't wear underwear to work. I'm not sure how the assistants know all this stuff, but they seem to know everything. In return for her gossip, I told her which two of her colleagues are being laid off at the end of the month, and how much higher the health insurance co-payments will be rising. She also told me a story about how one of the 1L students we interviewed for a summer position tried to hit on her as she was walking him between offices. She said she would have mentioned it sooner if we'd offered him a position, but since we didn't, she thought it better not to make a big deal of it.

I wonder if she'll notice my plastic surgery. I hope not -- I wouldn't want to be known as the partner who spends his disposable income on making himself look younger. That could become quite embarrassing.