Anonymous Lawyer

I made a summer associate organize my desk today. It was his own fault. I'd interviewed him in the fall; he knocked on my door just to say hello. So, of course, I asked him how things were going, and he said he hadn't gotten any work yet. So I asked him if he wanted some, and he said he did. So he spent 3 hours sorting my post-its by size and my pens by color and my papers by client matter and the bottles of liquor I keep in my bottom drawer by proof, year, and percent completed. I told him I'd pay him back by taking him for a nice lunch tomorrow, his choice. Incidentally, while he sorted, I played golf. Because it's Wednesday, and that's what I do on Wednesdays. And maybe on Fridays too, now that it's summer. I also had the unfortunate task of firing an associate today. We don't do it very often, but this guy failed the bar three times, and we have a policy. We gave him some time to come up with an excuse that might save his job, but the best he could do was Test Bias. He's a guy who went to prep school and his dad's a lawyer. Test bias ain't working, sorry. Especially on the Bar Exam. Plus he got a 178 on the LSAT, which is somewhat above average, so I don't even know what we're doing in a conversation about test bias. He said he's going to go to business school and get an MBA. Good for him. I have no idea how someone fails the bar exam 3 times after graduating from a top-10 law school. No idea. And he took the classes, which are useless, and even got a private tutor, which I can only imagine is pretty useless too. Speaking of useless, our tech people spent all day with my Blackberry and it's still not working. I actually had to call into voicemail from the golf course on my cell phone, which was a real drag. The rest of my foursome was laughing at me for having to suffer through the pre-Blackberry dark ages. I reminded one of them that he still uses a key to open his car door. That shut him up pretty quick. So hopefully that associate will pick an expensive restaurant for tomorrow. Actually, for 3 hours of desk organizing it's probably a pretty good deal for him -- except that he has to listen to me talk for two hours. I reviewed his resume before I made the lunch offer -- he's got some actual interests, unlike most of the people here, so maybe it'll be fun. Maybe I'll make a friend.