Saturday, May 29, 2004

 
I played golf today with a few summer associates -- the one I had lunch with earlier plus two others I told him to bring along. Anonymous Wife was going to an engagement party for one of her friends, and the kids were at friends' houses, so it was just going to be me in the house anyway. So I figured I'd treat some summers to a round of golf. It went well. I'm trying to make an effort to show myself as a real human being to some of these summer associates, and see what happens. It's an experiment. At lunch after we finished (I won, of course -- but that's what happens when you practice once a week for a dozen years), I told them I didn't want this to be like the normal lunches with lawyers, where they felt like they had to be putting on an act and couldn't say what they really thought. It's no fun to sit through those, on either end of the table. I told them this was all off the record, with regard to career matters -- nothing they said would be held against them, absolutely. So one of the summers mentioned he was in some ways ambivalent about this whole law thing. He felt like it wasn't what he was "meant to do," whatever that means, and that he thought he'd be settling for something that he knows isn't going to ever be as fulfilling a career as he'd like to aspire to have, if he were to take the job. I told him, just my own opinion, that I thought he was being a little naive, and perhaps relying a bit too much on the notion of fate. We all make choices, we all make sacrifices... but putting it on the shoulders of "what I was meant to do" seems to remove a bit too much personal responsibility from it all. Make a decision, sure -- but blaming it on destiny and fate and forces beyond oneself seems cowardly. But then I told him that if he really is ambivalent about this job, he's right to be questioning. In some ways this is just a job, but it's very time-consuming one, and if your heart's not in it, I don't know how long you can expect to last, or at least happily last, especially if you feel like you passed up other options to do it. One of my mentors told me when I was just starting out that lawyers should always keep in mind that this is a service industry -- and clients expect you to be there for them whenever they need you, whether it's Monday at 9 in the morning, or Saturday at 2 in the morning, or in the middle of your trip to Peru. I remember he actually said "trip to Peru," because it turned out he had been planning a trip to Peru for three years at that point, and had never gotten to go because work had always gotten in the way. He eventually did get to Peru, and contracted an infection from an insect bite of some sort that kept him bedridden for about a month. I don't know if there's a lesson in there at all. But I was pleased to have this chance to talk to some summers a little more informally, and glad that one of them (perhaps foolishly) let his guard down a bit. Made lunch more interesting, and that's often a good thing. I told him to use the rest of the summer to try things out and see if perhaps the ambivalence goes away, or he finds some law he's really passionate about. I also told him he's given me some stuff to think about, although I said that just to be polite. Another of the summers found a hair in his salad. I'm not going back to that restaurant.

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This is what I don't understand. Did you tell them they could be open with you and you wouldn't hold it against them just so you could all have an enjoyable lunch? You later say he (perhaps) foolishly let his guard down. So does that mean you will intentionally consider his remarks when evauluation/offer time rolls around? I hate when people say 'off the record' but they don't mean it.
 
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