Thursday, June 17, 2004

 
We have one client here who's known for being a bit hard to deal with. More than one, actually, but this story is only about one of them. I'm not the partner in charge of this client relationship, but I've done some work for them before, and the CEO knows who I am. I get a call from him this morning: "I don't like the work [another partner] is doing for me; I want you to step in." Normally our policy is that you hire the firm, and we handle staffing, not you -- but we don't like to make anyone unhappy, and so our policy has no teeth. I called up the partner and told him about the call, and he told me he'd be happy to bring me up to speed on what he's working on, if that'll make the client happy. This is a partner with a smaller ego than most of us, so it didn't become a problem at all. The client's nuts -- we all understand that. This other partner is ten times the lawyer I am, without question. So he briefs me on what's going on -- there's a couple of matters in the pipeline, some assorted issues we're working on. I call the client back and tell him I've been brought up to speed, and I want to know what's making him upset. Apparently, it's been taking too long for his voice mails to get responded to, and just didn't feel like the attention he was being given was commensurate with the importance of his business to the firm. And his latest bill was more than he thought. That was the big problem, I think. Clients get so upset over stupid stuff like the bill. We do a lot of work, our fees are no secret, why do people complain? So we charge forty cents a copy, so we over-bill the Lexis charges, so we order nice meals when we're working late on your case, and sometimes work late just to order nice meals, so we charge you for the time we spend inputting the time we spend on your case into our billing program. So we include an automatic 18% gratuity. It's all part of the game. These people's companies make billions of dollars. What's a few million more in professional fees?

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Pssst...bill for the blogging time, and next time keep the solar calculator and maybe offer it as a consolation gift to the client that complains.
 
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or when you send the bill put it on a tray with some fortune cookies on top of it, to soften the blow.
 
do you really add an 18% gratuity? damn. i'm in the wrong field. and here i thought charging a few extra hours here and there(at less than three figures) was a little over the top.
 
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