Thursday, July 15, 2004

 
Instead of taking a junior associate with me to a client meeting today, I took a summer associate -- and I paid the price.  First, I had to deal with driving there.  Usually the junior associate will drive, so I can do work in the passenger seat.  Then, I had to lay out the money for lunch and get the receipt to get reimbursed.  Again, usually I have the junior associate take care of that.  Then, I had to actually take notes and pay attention -- since I forgot to explain to the summer exactly what we were doing and what this case was about, so he couldn't actually be expected to know what to take notes on.  My fault, sort of, but still -- usually the associate just takes care of all this stuff for me.  It's a real pain when I have to lay out money for things and collect receipts, or drive anywhere work-related, or remember whether or not you have to tip the guy in the parking booth.  It was pretty ridiculous.

Comments:
Ah, the joys of being an associate at a large and "prestigious" firm--being the chauffeur for the partner, being the secretary for the partner, being the gofer for the partner. Maybe one day the associate will grow up and actually get to be a lawyer!
 
LOL, AL. Look out! Here come the incoming anonymous comment darts! You're too much!
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Uh . . . what? Dude, what have you been smoking? And what's up with your screaming slurs?
 
Speaking as an associate, I'd much rather be taking care of receipts and taking notes than what I'm doing now, which is basically doing all of one of the partners' work. The worst thing is that he keeps "apologizing" to me for not getting to it, and then profusely thanking me for having the initiative to take on the project. I want to scream, "Stop apologizing and do some freaking work, you slacker!!!" I hate that passive-aggressive bullshit: either assign it to me outright instead of pretending you're going to get to it, or just take it as a given that hierarchy has its privileges. But don't procrastinate, make the project way overdue, let it find its way to my desk, and then repeatedly make me reassure you that "it's ok" that you didn't get to it.
 
When I was in lawschool I was heartbroken that I could not summer at a big law firm. I took a class and interned at the Public Defender's office. I had twelve jury trials under my belt before I got my JD. After five years, a big firm hired me to babysit their partner who was "litigating" a huge case. After ten years at biglaw he shook with fear and threw up before his court hearings. When my "supervisor" got carried off to the hospital two weeks before trial, I settled the case for 75% of the initial demand. (Actually, the junior associate settled the case; I tried to push it to trial. She was smart and competent, the perfect “good cop.”)
Two years later, the name partners broke into open warfare and the firm split. I took my loyal secretary and my140 clients and opened my own firm.
Now, 15 years after that heartbreaking summer, I’m a solo with three lawyers and twelve staffers. Unless I’m in trial, I work 10 to 4 four days a week. Five kids and a big house on the water. The lawfirm concept, as any reader of Marx can tell you, only works for the men on the top; not at AL’s level, the very top.
 
In my own case, I was heartbroken I could not get into a good school or even decent grades at the less distinguished alma mater I did get into; it was such a disappointment to mommy and daddy after all the money they gave to the right schools. I can tell you, you can't say "Yale" at my house without daddy throwing down his scotch or kicking a servant! Still, though, when daddy asked Great, Big & Huge to find a place for me, they obliged. Now, they won't let me do any actual work since I got sooo drunk at the Christmas party and hit on Mr. Huge's major client, but they do still keep me around.

So its the best of all worlds, really. I have my sinecure position that my parents can brag about, and I can use the job to amuse myself, to stave off my ennui, and look for an appropriately established husband. The firm "benefits" because they have "access" to daddy. Of course, I don't have to work and the firm doesn't have the malpractice exposure that would entail.
 
In my own case, I was heartbroken I could not get into a good school or even decent grades at the less distinguished alma mater of mommy and daddy.

I got a job at a buy-here-pay-here, and twenty years later I own a big city Ford store and laugh at the lawyers at Holland and Knight as they lick my boots.
 
I try and try and try to understand why in god's name why anyone would ever want to go into biglaw. I try to rationalize that the money would buffer the garbage that goes along with it. People in biglaw seem like jokers, fools, clowns chasing the carrot. Why? So you can buy a nice car? Who fucking cares about your car? Its just absolutely crazy to me that people buy into this scam. Absolutely crazy. There are more important things in life than money. You people may as well just kill yourselves right now. Look at AL. The guy is a walking mess - unhappy and slaving away. For what?
 
I try and try and try to understand why in god's name why anyone would ever want to go into biglaw. I try to rationalize that the money would buffer the garbage that goes along with it. People in biglaw seem like jokers, fools, clowns chasing the carrot. Why? So you can buy a nice car? Who fucking cares about your car? Its just absolutely crazy to me that people buy into this scam. Absolutely crazy. There are more important things in life than money. You people may as well just kill yourselves right now. Look at AL. The guy is a walking mess - unhappy and slaving away. For what?
 
I try and try and try to understand why in god's name why anyone would double post on these comments? Do they want attention? Do they think their comments are twice as interesting as ours? (And in that case, do they think they're better than us? Do they want to fight? Are they willing to bring it?) Or do they just make mistakes with the posting controls?
 
Some people actually enjoy driving nice cars. People who say "who fucking cares about your car" doesn't understand the fun of motorsports.
 
I don't understand why people think Biglaw is where the money is at.

I made more in my first year as a solo than most big city big firm lawyers will make in five.
 
Hey, "Motorsports" guy, learn some fucking English.
 
I think the double-posts are an accident. Moron.
 
I might be wrong, but the guy who posted about double posts probably got that those were mistakes.
 
Well...you are wrong. Hope this helps.
 


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