Thursday, September 02, 2004

Anonymous Wife decided a few weeks ago that what would really make our marriage stronger is a remodeled kitchen. I don't know if she read this in a book somewhere, one of her vapid struggling-actress friends told her, or she came up with this idea herself. But, however it happened, we're remodeling the kitchen. New refrigerator, new cabinets, an island in the middle, a deluxe range. She never cooks, so I don't know what it's all for. But now every night when I get home she has catalogs for me to look at, and colors to choose from, and tile patterns... she says making the decisions together is part of the fun. She needs a job.

Nah, man. She needs you to DO this looking and deciding WITH her. It doesn't sound like any fun to me, either, but for some reason this kind of thing "together" really cements your relationship for women. You probably don't really enjoy the pukey sound of off-key children's "choirs" either, but you go to the programs and smile and clap and tell your little one that you really look forward to coming to see them perform. And what about a pain-in-the-ass client telling the same boring story? You look interested and laugh in the right places because that makes your client feel good and want to stick around. Maybe you will find yourself enjoying some of the kitchen remodel -- but even if you don't, you gotta do it as if you did. Want to really surprise her? Bring home something about a wine tasting group, or an Asian-fusion cooking class and tell her that when the kitchen is done the two of you should look into something like that together. You'll get the best sex of your life.

FYI: Planning a remodel is fine, but I hope your $$ will pay professionals to do the work. Nothing can tear down even a good marriage like trying to hang wallpaper together!
You make it sound like this is the first time you have to buy something expensive you don't need to make your wife happy. Be happy she isn't blowing the gardners. Actually, with the amount of time you are home, you probably know little about her daily activities.
You are such an idiot, it is a miracle you are married in the first place. She doesn't care about the kitchen. She is screaming for your attention. She is so desperate for an activity for the two of you to do together that she's invented one. She is looking for someone to share her life with. She thought that would be you, when you married her, but you haven't been around much, have you? Spouses are supposed to be companions. You can't be someone's companion if you aren't there. She doesn't need a job, she needs a husband.
Goodness, all this psychoanalysis in the replies over a kitchen remodel. Well, as Freud said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

And almost always a kitchen remodel is just a kitchen remodel. Not a cry for help.

Yes, it sounds downright dull. But, then, for those interested in that sort of thing it probably isn't.
I agree she needs a job. Makes me wonder why anyone would want to go through that kind of hassle. This is only the beginning, AL... you can expect more mess and chaos when the actual remodeling takes place. If it's a means to achieving the desired end of more communication between a couple, I think it's a lost cause. Hello... I would rather watch each other's toe nails grow!

This is something unrelated to the thread of this discussion. But I was just wondering if you guys watch the Amazing Race? And what are your thoughts of a Amazing Race Blog? I have seen a blog on "The Apprentice" and is kind of toying with the idea of starting a blog where kindred spirits can come and discuss the Amazing Race...

yes, she needs a job. i remember taking a few days off before i started at my new office and i felt completely hopeless. i really didn't know what to do with my free time when everyone else was at work. i'm a restless person so i always need to do something.
If AL and wife have children, she HAS a job. I concur with the earlier poster - she needs a husband.

AL, you do need to realize that all the life questions you've pondered and the changes that have been recommended don't necessarily come easily. Not always fun, not always comfortable. Part of making your family a priority is JUST DOING IT. I know you understand the concept, because you've done it in business for years. You may not want to do the conference call, or have lunch with the boring partner or client, but you do what has to be done in order to achieve the goal you want to achieve. Same thing here. If you want more, you have to give more. Sometimes it will feel great -- everything you dreamed of, but sometimes it is just something you do because you know it is necessary and the right thing to do. Not unlike your career.
Come on, people. No need to take AL so seriously. He may spout off from time to time on his weblog, but in reality he's probably a perfect gentleman to his wife, co-workers, etc. I sometimes get the feeling that he goes off like this here so that he doesn't have to in real life.

Of course if I'm wrong, then he really is a jerk.
AL always gets a mix of responses. If he's serious, the responses taking the issue or concern seriously are appropriate. If he's just mouthing (not a bad thing), then there are usually some smart-mouth replies and humor that follow. Who knows what's real? The only thing that's a pain is when someone (apparently in need of or overdosed on medication!) flips out (like the anti-CL poster) or takes AL's outrageously sardonic comments as though he were really doing the things he says (abusing the staff, sleeping with the help). The blog is cool, whatever the topic.
Blogs are great for "mouthing off" I think it's cool that AL feels comfortable enough to post his thoughts where people can read them and reply with lots of (un)wanted advice or comment.... give the guy abreak for having the courage to maintain his sanity by spouting HERE instead of at his wife....
She needs better and/or more sex in her life. Provide it.
One word...Viagra. You know you need it.

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