Thursday, October 28, 2004

She doesn't understand what it's like. She doesn't understand that I have responsibilities that go beyond what she wants me to do, and that it's the clients who pay for her trips to the beauty spa, and the junk she "collects." If they need something, I have to be there. It's not a choice. I'm not choosing to put work first. It's just something that has to be. Or she wouldn't have gotten to live the life she's gotten accustomed to living. She likes nice things. I like nice things too. She likes them more. But to get nice things, I needed to make sacrifices. She accepted those sacrifices when we got married. But I don't think she ever truly understood. This is a service industry. I don't control my hours as much as a businessman does. I don't control my hours as much as she did when she was working. These aren't set hours. What I do funds her diversions. It funded her headshots when she decided she wanted to "act." It funded her art supplies when she decided she wanted to "paint." It funds the goddamned organic food she insists is healthier but is really just twice as expensive. Organic baby food. Like it made a difference. My biggest fear every day is that he ends up like her because I didn't spend enough time with him growing up. That he ends up shallow and empty like her. Maybe it's better to be shallow and empty. At least then you don't agonize. I agonize over this. Maybe I make the wrong choices, but at least I can acknowledge it. I know what I'm choosing. I'm aware this isn't good. That I've ended up somewhere I never meant to go. Maybe it's better not to know. To not have the capacity for self-reflection. It's a burden. She's not like me. She reacts. She responds. But she doesn't reflect. She doesn't contemplate. She doesn't question. I think I'm saying she's stupid. I think I've always known she's stupid, but accepted it because I didn't know if I deserved better. This isn't an easy life, and it hasn't made me an easy person. So I ignored it, and pretended she was more than she is. But if she's turned him stupid too, I don't know if I can live with it. He has potential. I don't know the extent of it. But I'm sure it's more than she can understand. I used to have potential. Now I have golf clubs and a $9,000 barbecue grill.

AL, I think once someone commits such an act of betrayal, she's lost to you forever. And I am not sure that's a bad thing actually. She would have lost me forever too, if I were you.

Your son should be your priority now. Give him more of your time and I think making a genuine effort counts for more. I didn't begrudge my parents when they weren't able to spend more time with me, cos I appreciate they are doing what they can to make our lives better. They made me understand that. More often than not, kids are more sensible than we give them credit for. Talk to him.

I hope things get better...
You're not the first, so don't sweat it. The best revenge is to live well.
If I recall AL, you said you have stashed enough money away to be financially secure. If that is really the case, why not bag this partnership gig all togehter? Your son should be your #1 priority. Not some corporate client. You said it yourself, that your son has potential. Ensure that potential since it may not yet be too late. If practicing means that much to you, go solo. At least you control the hours and have much more flexibility. Or do $9000 barbecues and golf clubs mean more to you?
$9,000 BBQ, cool! Let the bitch go, and the kid too. Get a younger wife and start over. Alimony is tax deductible if you structure it right. Oh, yeah, can I have your ex's phone number? I think I can give her what she really needs.
AL, quit being such a bitch.
Oh please. Your recent posts are neither realistic, nor interesting. Find some way that your web persona can get back together with Anonymous Wife so that you can return to the business of imaginary lawyering and providing acerbic comments on your day to day activities.
AL, If this is really true, my heart goes out to you. I have many law friends who have married - or are going to marry - vapid counterparts. We need the break from the reality of our lives - the break from discussing mind-boggling issues that truly impact people's lives. So, we find someone who's fun and different from us. We latch on. We justify it away. And five years later (or fifteen or twenty) we wake up and realize we haven't had a real conversation with the person since we married them. Then, it quickly degenerates.

I'm sorry - but I agree with an earlier commentator - take the money you've saved up, go to a smaller or mid-size firm, take the pay cut and increase the quality-of-life hours. Get your son away from her, and spend more time with him so he becomes the best of both of you - not just of one.
You are clearly not managing partner material if you let a little thing like this slow you down. Also, it seems that your productivity has been down; your partners are meeting about that right now. When they ask you if perhaps you would be more comfortable at a different firm, don't cry in front of them.
here's an idea: if you think it's not real, don't fucking post. i'm sick of seeing the same whiners complain "blah blah blah, you're so fake, we all know it's just internet drama". if it is, then LET THE DRAMA PLAY OUT! christ on a stick, some of you are truly retarded. your comments of "it's not real, but here's my shitty advice anyways" get old real fast. whether it's true or not, some of us actually want to read what he has to say. get a grip.
I don't think it's real and I won't stop commenting. I think what started off as a funny, witty, and interesting work of fiction is turning into a stale, cliche piece of s***. Even if it's fiction, there's room for criticism. AL could always turn comments off, if he really were so thin skinned.
Dude, if you have the cash, ship him to Choate or Exeter. Not only do you have to NOT raise him, but you keep him away from the wife. This, AL, is true parenting.
AL, I admire your obviously thick skin. It amazes me how vicious the little word "anonymous" can make people.
great blog here! and what's with the $9,000 bbq grill!?!
Ugh. If AL was really feeling this, why is he writing in such obnoxious, overdramatic, staccato sentences. It looks contrived. It looks meticulously edited. It looks fabricated. It does not look heart-felt.

Silly me, I forgot AL is heartless. Meanwhile, it appears he misinterpreted Wife's values. If she really cared about the head shots, she wouldn't have left. Unless she really is just stupid.

I anticipated the killer of Anonymous Relationship 2 days ago and have a prescription.
As for AL's kids, Andover, Exeter and even Choate are going to be a stretch. Think more along the lines of Taft or Middlesex. Maybe St. Paul's for the middle tier.
Sell the house and the grill. Go work for a non-profit or the government and spend some time with your kid before he turns into a law student.
Anon 12:44

Ouch! (Bull's-eye.)
Part of me wanted to throw in Cate as well, but I doubt AL jr. would get in.
Completely agree with the person that posted that the term "jumped the shark" comes to mind. My guess: Anonymous Lawyer is actually a single woman.
Sell the grill, and the wife, and the kid. Cash out of the partnership. Press the reset button on your life's computer.
So, she likes your stuff, spends it willingly, buys stoopid crap, does stoopid things.

Did she do this when you first got together? Did she press you to go away for eighty hours per week and send the bigbuxs home? Or, has she been spending and buying and doing stoopidly as a substitute for a companion - for something to do? Hell, if the money's there, why should she be spending carefully?

Either way, it's too late. Be cordial, split the stuff up (WTF do you want with a $9k pit anyway?), and make some more time for your son. (At least this way, you can spend the time your wife used to get on him instead.)
so what are your plans for Halloween? do you ever write something lighthearted? even if this is fictional, at least make up something that isnt always about the law, your career, or something about law firm life!!! What about sports? movies? foods?? are you that boring??
11:10, did you think you were being cute by spelling stupid "oo" instead of "u?" Well, you weren't - it's not cute. YOU'RE stoopid.
1) I would suggest Fork Union Military Academy to Exeter or Cate for AL Junior. It has sons of Congressman, Supreme Court Justices, Ambassadors, and foreign nationals. It makes men out of boys - men that would not be caught dead whining like a bitch about a bitch on some bitch-ass website. (It also does NOT have a bunch of faggy pretty boys snorting coke and blowing each other every night like Exeter, Cate, etc.)

2) I'm not a lawyer, but I am a guy. If you ARE real, why hasn't the thought of somehow injuring the partner who banged your wife crossed your mind yet? Key his Jaguar. Put a dead fish in his ceiling tiles. Torpedo his career. Use a titanium 9-iron to beat his ass. SOMETHING. (The fact that this hasn't apparently crossed AL's mind cuts in favor of the person who posited that AL is actually a single woman).

3) I'll give you $3,000 for the grill. Call me. 314-409-4127.
Area code 314 = St. Louis, Missouri...nuff said.
2:10, why do you need a bbq? it's not like you're having any world series parties over there.
That was an awesome post. Burnt feathers and brain decay. You're my hero, AL.

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