Tuesday, November 09, 2004

 
My secretary is having a fit about my billing records this week. Apparently I accidentally recorded an hour more than I was in the office last Friday. I write my time on a sheet of paper and hand it to my secretary at the end of the day for her to input into the system. We have an electronic system on the computer. I don't know how to use it. I try to be good about my billing but it's hard to be accurate all the time. You start thinking about other things when you sit down to do work, and before you know it, a tenth of an hour has passed and you really haven't gotten anything done. I take turns with which clients get charged for my weblog time. Usually I pick the ones who don't read the bills too carefully. There are two types of clients when it comes to bills. One type demands a detailed printout from us and labors over every line. I get phone calls, "why did it take your associate two hours to research that issue?" And if we don't report in enough detail that they know what we're doing, I get phonecalls about that. Then there are some clients that don't care, we send them one sheet of paper with a big number on it and they pay it. And obviously we know which is which. When there's time that doesn't look right, it may not be fair, but it gets a lot less scrutiny on our end when we know the client isn't reading. I once billed for a dream I had about a client. More like a nightmare.

Comments:
I don't think that a partner at a major law firm would confess on a web log to defrauding his clients. AL is probably completely fictional, but I wonder if he is so depressed that he wants to be caught, exposed and fired. Most likely, AL is a fictional character who is so depressed that he wants to be caught, exposed and fired. All in all it's been a great run - and whoever writes this is obviously extremely talented (and it's a shame if those talents are going to waste in corporate law, frankly). But we're getting a little too cliched here - I mean in two weeks the guy's wife has left him AND he's decided to admit to billing fraud. That's bordering a little too much on parody.

There was a commenter a few days back who theorized that AL is a woman. I agree - I think AL is a young woman who works at a big law firm - probably as an associate but possibly as a paralegal/legal assistant. (AL just seems to know too much about legal recruiting not to have gone to law school.)

Still, I'll read it every day - in part because I don't know FOR SURE that AL isn't real. I love this blog.
 
Good billing records should read like Balzac.
 
Hey 8:19, you're working pretty hard on something fairly irrelevant. Who cares if AL is real (the title of the blog says fictional)? You're reading a weblog, remember, not high literature. Chill out and enjoy.
 
10:27, 8:19 here. True, but I spend all day working hard on stuff that is pretty irrelevant; at leat this borders on interesting.
 
Oh, come on - isn't this an easy one, as to who AL is?

Cheating spouse, high-level legal background, one child, not particularly concerned with legal rules, but definitely concerned with legal status.

Answer: Hillary Clinton. (Ducks.)
 
Now that I've left private practice and have become the in-house lawyer guy, few things entertain me more than rejecting the second kind of bill that AL describes. "Yeah, sorry dude, doesn't conform to the guidelines." Ha! Also fun? Now that it's getting close to the end of the year all the firms want their bills paid so they can book the income for 2004, but we've already spent too much on outside counsel this year and don't want to pay until 2005. Ha! Good times, good times.
 
Fucking inhouse laywers. JUST PAY THE BILL.

Thank you.

That is all.
 
Now we know AL is a fraud because he said this: "I write my time on a sheet of paper and hand it to my secretary at the end of the day for her to input into the system."

How can he hand his timesheets to his secretary AT THE END OF THE DAY if his day usually ends at 8 or 10 or midnight? It's possible there are secretaries there late at night on some sort of rotation assignment, but it is doubtful that he would hand a night secretary his timesheets when his full-time secretary would be the one to handle this type of thing.

Of course, AL could just rebuke this by saying he is referring to the end of the day for his full-time secretary which is probably 5:30, at which time he comes out of his office and hands the bitch his sheets. That would make perfect sense, but for some reason I can't imagine AL being so considerate to his support staff.
 
Hey 10:07, didn't you see the post where he said he was shagging his secretary? That's when the end of the day comes, no pun intended.
 
10:07 Too true. IRL his secretary would have no idea how many hours he was in the office. He would get in earlier and stay later -- but this isn't real life, just a remarkable simulation. Vrai faux.
 
I agree. The talent here took a turn to fiction n tha post, but it's still good stuff. Of course, on the off chance this is real, AL might want to consider paying for his own blog time. His clients certainly are not benefitting. Hee hee.
 


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