Thursday, March 23, 2006

I hate houseguests. My wife's sister and her husband are in town for a few days, staying in our guest room. They're insufferable. They didn't like our milk. They went out and bought soy milk instead. One of them is lactose-intolerant. Like that's my problem. So that's cluttering up the refrigerator. I'm just regular intolerant. I'm fine with lactose. So they wanted to go sightseeing last night, and somehow I got convinced to drive. They wanted to see O.J. Simpson's house, which isn't even the same house anymore. It's been rebuilt. I thought we'd just drive by, they could look out the window... but, no. They had to get out and search the sidewalk for blood stains. We saw some guy a few houses down watering his plants and they thought it was Mark Fuhrman, planting a bloody glove in the ground. They bought a star map and made me drive all around looking for these houses, like they were going to see Florence Henderson out in the yard throwing a football with her grandkids at 8:00 at night. Insufferable.

We stopped for ice cream sandwiches on the way back -- there's a place I take Anonymous Son to every so often ($1 for some ice cream sandwiched in between two fresh-made cookies, there's not a better deal in the city) and I figured these people are of a similar mental age so they might enjoy it. And again with the lactose. Suck it up and deal. The world has milk products. We learn to cope. If an associate here ever turned down a milk product offered to him by a partner, just because he was lactose intolerant, I wouldn't stand for it. Polite guests, and polite employees, take what's offered. It's not a nut allergy, they're not going to guy. So you're a little uncomfortable for a while. That's what being a guest is all about.

They wanted to go see the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but I drew the line and wouldn't indulge. Instead I dropped them off in Crenshaw and told them they could find their way back on their own.

Okay, I didn't. But I should have.

I left them some cheese for lunch. I hope they enjoy it.

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