Monday, May 15, 2006

It's like a flower shop in here this morning. All the color is very irritating. Many of the mothers in the office -- mostly the secretaries, since the female associates and partners mostly don't work here anymore once they have kids -- brought in flowers they received for Mother's Day, and now they're all over the place. They can't shut up about what their kids did for them to celebrate. "My son made me breakfast in bed." "My daughter vacuumed the living room." "My son peed in a cup and drank it."

I called my Mom yesterday. We had a lovely chat. I told her I loved her, she told me she loved me, I asked her how her gardening was going, I answered a few e-mails while she told me, I put the kids on to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, I promised to come visit soon, and I made sure she got the flowers I had my secretary send her. Easy. I had the kids make some breakfast for Anonymous Wife, which I substituted with some breakfast I had delivered from a catering place we use sometimes. We brought it to her as she was waking up, she ate it, she liked it, I threw a box of chocolates at her, we watched TV, the kids tied her shoes together, it was a fine day.

My wife's parents came over for dinner, it was all about as much fun as sitting in a hospital waiting room, and now it's over and I don't need to see them again until someone's birthday, or funeral, whichever comes first.

We're doing a Mother's Day celebration in the office this afternoon, mostly for the sake of the summer associates. We'll serve some cake, we'll have some champagne, I'll give a speech entirely for the summer associates' benefit about how we're so happy to have so many mothers here and what a family-friendly place we strive to be and some garbage about how it's easy to balance a career here with being a committed parent because we're just so flexible and encouraging. And then God will strike us all dead for our evil lies. No, he won't. Everyone will go back to their offices and try to make up for the half hour they just wasted hearing this crap about how it's easy to balance family and career and then they'll cry themselves to sleep tonight as they lament their life choices.

We shouldn't have holidays like this because they encourage self-reflection. Self-reflection is bad. We need more holidays like July 4th. July 4th does not encourage self-reflection. It encourages fireworks and barbecues and being thankful you only have to put in half a day at the office. Softball games. Naps. Mother's Day makes people think about their parents, and their kids. It's not good for the firm. Not as bad as Thanksgiving, but still not good.

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