Anonymous Lawyer

An associate ran into my office this morning with urgent news: Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz broke up. Personally, I've never liked either one. Justin's voice is way too nasal, and Cameron's acting is wooden. On the other hand... wait, what am I talking about? I barely even know who these two people are and certainly don't have opinions about them. Who cares? And why is this all my associates have been talking about all day? Actually, I think it means we're doing something right here at the firm. Because if my associates had the time to have real lives of their own, they wouldn't have the need to obsess over two celebrities they're only going to meet if we get to defend Justin in the inevitable paternity suits he'll end up facing if he continues to be in the public eye. So I'm glad my associates are obsessed with these two clowns. It means we're doing something right.