Anonymous Lawyer

I read an article yesterday about a guy who's suing his law school for discriminating against slow typists. He claims that exams are skewed in favor of people who type fast. We fired someone for typing too slowly a few weeks ago. She's still in her office typing out her letter of termination. We thought it was appropriate, given the reason for her firing, for her to have to type out the letter herself. We told her the letter should consist of the entire text of the Bankruptcy Code. She might be in there a while. Like I said, she's a slow typist. Law school grades ought to reward good typing. After all, it's more important for law firm success than anything else that goes on in law school.

Okay, maybe typing isn't skill #1. Skill #1 is learning to read the professors' minds, just like they'll have to read partners' minds at the firm. Skill #2 is the busy-work that comes with journal work. Skill #3 is learning to tolerate the arbitrary relationship between effort, talent, and rewards. Grades are pretty close to random at law school, and praise at the firm is similarly pretty close to random. Skill #4 is the typing. So, still important, but not quite #1.

I don't think this kid who's suing his law school is going to have much luck finding a job. Not even so much because of the lawsuit, but because he's admitting he's a lousy typist. What else is a first year associate good for anyway?