Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I've been asked by multiple readers to post about the Michael Vick dogfighting situation. And I've been reluctant to do so thus far because Vick is actually one of my clients. I've strayed from my usual practice and taken his case pro bono because I want to make a difference in the world, and stand up for people like Vick, people who hold other people (and animals) accountable for their actions and discipline them appropriately when they don't meet the standard. We've become too weak in this country, too tolerant of laziness, of people (and animals) who don't work hard, who don't have the will to compete, who don't constantly try to better themselves. Vick merely held the dogs accountable for their performances. I aspire to do the same with associates, but "political correctness" gets in the way. Those dogs signed up for the fights, they signed consent forms, they knew the risks. Or at least that's my argument. We have paw prints.

Vick has been a victim of the same kinds of reactions we received when our underground associate-fighting ring was exposed by a rejected summer associate. It used to be the highlight of my Thursday nights. Take two young associates, put them in a ring, give them each a stainless steel letter opener, and let them battle for who would get to work all weekend for the meanest partner at the firm. (Obviously that was the prize for the winner, not the loser. Face time is important, above just about anything else.) And, yes, sometimes we got carried away. Perhaps leaving the loser in the middle of the woods to fend for himself, with only a copy of the bankruptcy code to protect him, was a bit of an overreaction. But we did count those hours as billable, so I think it all ended up fair for all sides.

See, I do a lot of pro bono work. It's not just Vick. That basketball referee who was betting on the games he officiated, he's a client too. I don't see the conflict of interest. We advise clients all the time on all sorts of matters that ultimately affect how much we get paid. We tell clients not to settle, regardless of whether it's in their interest to do so, if we know we'll receive more money merely by dragging the case out for fifteen more years until they finally do end up settling, for half the money they could have gotten before, and with legal costs that eat up most of the settlement anyway.

what would you do if you caught a summer associate with drugs?
I knew that this entry was false once I saw the term "rejected summer associate." Everybody knows that there is no such thing.
I like the idea of the fight club. Time to start one up here.

As far as no such thing as a "rejected summer associate" - tell it to the guy we just FIRED as a summer associate.
What do the summer associate do to get fired? I've heard of summers being fired or rejected in extreme cases (such as the infamous summer who took off her dress and dove into the Hudson River at an event a few years ago), but short of the extreme, never heard of one being fired.
"extreme cases"??? When a law firm hires 15 people as summers and extends offers to only 2--is that what you would call an "extreme case"?
This bum mailed a copy of my case notes to the client, including my candid notes about the client as a potiental witness.
I can see mailing the candid comments about a client to that client being a hanging offense.

And what firm really only hires 2 of 15 summers? Certainly not a large one. Even the government isn't that bad.

I don't think they've failed to extend an offer to a summer since I've been with my firm.
You need anonymous lawyer's wife comments from time to time and I, as a separated big firm corporate securities/mergers and acquisitions wife am in a position to enhance your observations. For instance, I am sure, when you are actually at home, you want us all to go to the zoo; children's friends are problematic; you are always right--lawyer training; you are generally contemptuous of most people and do not see that as a problem; you are so used to expensive restaurants that a kid food dinner requires an extensive critque in front of said offspring so that they will also be get the drift that you are ignoring a whole new dimension to what is your brillant book, which I have just read.
Rumour has it, that here in Australia, a top tier firm has its 'end of summer's' bash, and a male summer set fire to a board room table very late that night after entering the room with an unknown female. He did not get an offer. Otherwise, and in my experience, most do get offers.
This happened at the firm where I summered. They also did the same thing the following year. The firm is the 2nd largest in my area. Maybe back in the Cs=JDs era, all summers got offers, but at least when I left school --2003-
jobs were quite difficult to come by, even with outstanding grades, unless of course you happened to be the son of a judge or some prominent attorney in town.
A lawyer-based Fight Club, nice.
get in touch with 6:29pm. She sounds like a wellspring of new material for anonymous lawyer on the home front. Think of the boundless possibilities for humor in the lawyer's callous approach to family life. Crackberrying through soccar games, leveraging anonymous son's Risk army during gamenight, etc.,
Dude. Why have you stopped posting regularly?
Did your firm actually draft the consent forms for Vic's pooches? If so, would you be kind enough to send me one to use as a template for another matter I'm working on? Thanks. BTW, you should really consider placing trap doors under the desk chairs of your summer associates. We adopted that policy two years ago and you would be amazed at the results... keeps these overpaid idiots on their toes.
I hope the summers don't get to bill for the fight club experience, just the partners. It's the experience that counts for them. They shouldn't be able to benefit doubly for such a valuable experience.
I read the anonymous lawyer. waste of money. it was really boring for the most part. Only a few parts were slightly amusing - no external laugh, just an internal smirk.

I bought the book because of your sight. It was poorly written. figures - harvard law grad wrote it. premise was great - couldve been way better.
What do Lawyers do when struggling to get "face time" with 'BullDog Jim, Co-Founder and senior partner who easily can make or break your career or leg?
"Associate Fight Club"

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