Friday, May 22, 2009

 
I'm out of town this weekend at an associate's wedding. I hate when my associates get married, but I hate it more when they're engaged. At least once they're married it's all done and they can turn their attention back where it belongs. When they're engaged, they're worrying about planning a wedding (and fake-planning a honeymoon they're never going to get to take) and for months nothing important gets done. Like any of it matters anyway. I understand a big party to celebrate a new job. You spend most of your waking life at the office. But what's the difference who you're married to? It's not like you really even see them. I once went two years without seeing my wife (awake) for more than ten minutes in a row. Sure, part of that was because of her own issues, but a lot of it was because of my work schedule. She was seven months pregnant before I knew we were having a kid. That's what happens when you automatically direct all of her e-mail to the spam folder and all of her voice mail to the garbage.

I really don't know why this associate invited me to the wedding. You would think he sees enough of me at work. You would think I'd be the last person his wife would want there. I'm the guy who takes him away from her. Although maybe she likes it that way. Maybe she's only marrying him for the money. What she doesn't know is that the moment he's back from the honeymoon I keep telling him he shouldn't take, we're going to lay him off. He thinks he's got a pretty sweet deal: lucrative job, new wife, brand new house he just closed the deal on. But just give it a month and see where he is. No job, a foreclosed house, and I'm pretty sure there's not going to be a wife anymore.

He should thank me, honestly. We're doing this for his own good. This way he'll really know: does she love me for my money, or is she really this desperate (because he's not much of a catch)? If she stays, he'll know it's not about the money. And that lesson will stick with him for the six unemployed months he's got left before he decides it's better to end it all, ashamed of the shell of a man he will have become. He'll know she really loves him, even if he can't love himself. Even if his whole identity is so wrapped up in the job that he can't recognize he has something most guys at the firm would trade their entire stock portfolios for.

It's hard to find love when you're working 90 hours a week. Of course, it's not like most of these folks would find anyone even if they were working half that amount. The law doesn't attract the kinds of people who are the marrying types. The kind who can compromise and sacrifice and remember to leave the toilet seat down. Lawyers have to win every time. And in a marriage, you can't. At least not in a happy one. I can count the people here in successful marriages on the number of fingers the plaintiff in the suit against the chainsaw company we're defending has left. That's zero. No successful marriages. I can count the number of unsuccessful marriages by the number of surgeries the plaintiff has had. Nineteen. And that's just in my department.

I know it's traditional to give a gift when you go to a wedding, but I always figure my presence is good enough. Besides, my gift is on its way. Two weeks severance. Heck, it's a lot more money than anyone else is going to give them.

Comments:
You didn't know your wife was pregnant till 7th month!!!!!


Now that is simply amazing
 
Dear Anonymous:

Do you recall something that might have led to her pregnancy?
 
An associate's nuptuals or your own? Congratulations!
 
;) Hmm...
 
Maybe you should give him a toaster en lieu of the two weeks severance.
 
wow, haha pretty evil you are..
 
Hmm...interesting
 
When is your next post?? can't wait can't wait....
 
I no longer want to be a lawyer.
 
lol, oh my god, that has frightened me... I am a law student at the moment! But it says that you are just fictional on your page, so maybe its not THIS much doom and gloom in a top law firm.
 
This is hilarious!!! Big firm work sucks, a lot of times you end up having to cater to the whims of not only your bosses, but also pushy clients, and the inevitable eccentric: http://familyblog.legalmatch.com/2008/07/leona-helmsleys.html
I feel sorry for her attorney...
 
This is pretty funny site. A little disturbing but funny.

Mike

TOPEKA LAWYER
 
I love it. hahahahaha. laughing out loud.
 
bwahahahaahahahahahhaah.

jeez, I've missed you.
 
... you were afterall simply looking out for his interests. Who wants to be unsure of why someone married you?!

I think for men, they marry so it's illegal for their wives to sleep with anyone else... I am still not sure why women do it.
 
Love the frankness of your post..


Attorney companies
 
Now that is simply amazing

very nice post lawyers
افضل محامي في جدة
 
This is also a very good post which I really enjoyed reading. It is not every day that I have the possibility to see something like this.. أفضل محامي في جدة

 
I want to say thanks to you. I have bookmark your site for future updates. محامي أحوال شخصية الرياض

 
ابحث عن محامي سعودي هو موقع محاماة واستشارات قانونية يسعى الى تقديم ارقام افضل المحامين والمستشارين القانونيين في الرياض وجدة والدمام ومكة وكافة مناطق المملكة العربية السعودية .
...............................
إذا تم اتهامك في قضية جنائية ، فعادة ما يحق لك الحصول على محامي جنائي أو محامي في جدة خبير في القضايا الجنائية. علاوة على ذلك ، إذا كنت ضحية فعل إجرامي ، فقد يحق لك أيضًا الاستعانة بمحامٍ للمساعدة القانونية. من الممكن أيضًا الاستعانة بخبر محامين في جدة للمساعدة في الاستشارة الشخصية ، . بالنسبة للشركات سيكون من الطبيعي الوصول إلى علاقة قانونية دائمة ومستقرة ، أو حتى الحصول على محامي في جدة بشكل دائم.
................
افضل محامي في جدة مكة الطائف بالمملكة العربية السعودية يقدم استشارات قانونية سعودية في مختلف تخصصات الانظمة خبرة في صياغة العقود واللوائح الاعتراضية.
………………………………........................
استشارة محامي جدة ، هو مكتب افضل محامي في جدة والرياض وسائر مناطق ومدن المملكة العربية السعودية،يضم طاقم متخصص من المحامين في جدة والسعودية .
 
استشارات قانونية في جدة بالمملكة العربية السعودية تقدم بواسطة افضل المحامين بالمملكة، استشارات قانونية في جدة، استشارة قانونية في الرياض ، استشارة قانونية في مكة، استشارة قانونية في الدمام، استشارات قانونية فورية،استشارات قانونية سعودية ،استشارة محامي اون لاين، محامي استشارات مجانية ، استشارة قانونية عقارية ،للحصول على استشارة قانونية يرجى التواصل على الرابط التالي استشارات قانونية سعودية



من هو افضل محامي في الرياض بالمملكة العربية السعودية ؟
محامي في الرياض ، هو مكتب افضل محامي في الرياض وسائر مناطق ومدن المملكة العربية السعودية،يضم المكتب العربي للقانون طاقم متخصص من افضل المحامين في الرياض
محامي بالرياض من هو افضل محامي في الرياض وما هو رقمه ؟ السؤال الذي يطرحه الكثير منا على بعضنا البعض عند التعامل مع المشكلات القانونية .
حقاً أين أجد افضل محامي بالرياض مناسب لجميع القضايا القانونية بما في ذلك القضايا التجارية والطلاق والاحوال الشخصية ونقل الملكيات والشيكات والمحاكم العمالية ؟
اذا كنت تبحث أيضاً عن افضل محامي في جدة فيسعدنا إخبارك باننا نضم افضل محامي بجدة خبرة وعلماً على مستوى المملكة العربية السعودية.

 
صبح شائعاً أن الإجراءات القانونية وحل المشكلات القضائية لا يمكن مجاراتها وإنهائها بطريقة صحيحة دون الاعتماد على خبرة محامي مكة لديه طريقة واستراتيجيات مناسبة لدراسة القضية وفهم إجراءاتها بطريقة صحيحة بما يسهم في إيجاد حل مناسب لحلها بما يخدم العميل.

أما عن إمكانية الحصول على محامي مكة لحل مشكلتك القضائية على أن يكون محامي متخصص في القضايا التي لديك فإنني سأقدم لك قائمة بأفضل 10 مكاتب محاماة في مكة المكرمة ممن يملكون محامين متخصصين مميزين وذوي خبرة في العمل القانوني في المملكة العربية السعودية.

وبما أن مكاتب المحاماة في جدة عديدة وقد لا يمكن حصرها. بالإضافة إلى أن البحث عن محامي جدة مهمة ليست سهلة إطلاقاً. فقد حضرنا لكم في هذا المقال أفضل 15 محامي في جدة لعام 2022 ممن يعملون في مكتب الصفوة للمحاماة كخلية نحل للحفاظ على حقوق الموكلين. ونكون الحصن القانوني المنيع لكافة عملائنا.

يمكنكم التواصل مع أفضل محامين جدة من خلال رقم المكتب للاتصال المحلي: 0595911136 وللاتصال الدولي: 00966595911136.


 
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