Sunday, November 01, 2009

 
Just read about a lawsuit against PepsiCo, regarding Aquafina water, where the plaintiffs won a default judgment of $1.26 billion because a legal secretary forgot to respond to the complaint.

This is why we have the associates do our secretarial work.

Gosh, what a lesson for firms that actually expect their secretaries to do anything. Of course secretaries can't be trusted to do anything, that's why they're secretaries. That's why we need eighth-year associates, supervising sixth-year associates, supervising fourth-year associates, supervising second-year associates, supervising first-year associates whose only job it is to stamp numbers on papers and sort things in the right order.

If we relied on secretaries to do important things like get me a highlighter or clean my shoes, they'd never get done and we'd lose billion dollar cases.

I don't know what PepsiCo was thinking having a secretary responsible for something. Everyone knows secretaries are only good for bringing in food and taking up space in the cubicles. And sometimes having affairs with, but only when extremely desperate and all of the associates are busy stamping numbers on papers and sorting things in the right order.

I once gave my secretary a task. I was filing a motion, and had woken up the morning it was due with an incredible idea -- instead of numbering our 135 exhibits A through EEEEEE, we should use the Greek alphabet instead, since the judge was Greek, and he'd probably get a kick out of it and therefore be much more likely to rule for our side despite the evidence completely favoring our opponents. So I needed someone to switch all the pages out and replace them with pages labeled with the Greek alphabet. Plus I needed all the references in the brief to be amended. Plus I needed the city's best gyro for lunch, just to get me in the mood.

After an hour of serious deliberation, I decided to send the associate for the gyro, and have the secretary do the re-labeling, because even though the brief had a 5:00 deadline, the gyro needed to be in my office by 1:30 or I'd be eating too late to still be hungry for dinner. So clearly the gyro was priority number one.

Sure enough, down to the wire, the secretary is running around trying to figure out whether beta comes before or after theta, and the associate is dripping tzatziki all over the exhibits binder... and then the secretary threw up, all over exhibit Eta. She claimed it was because the yogurt sauce had gone bad -- I mean, of course I had her taste the gyro before I ate it, just to be sure it wasn't poisonous, that's just part of the job -- but she could have at least avoided vomiting on the papers.

So we missed the deadline, our clients received a default judgment against them, and I had to come up with a phony excuse about how we did everything we could but the evidence just wasn't on our side. They paid the bill, so no harm no foul, but it taught me to never put secretaries in charge of anything, ever again.

Lesson learned.

Comments:
YOU made the poor choice. Your secretary to re-number your evidence the day it was due (no proofreading?); and your associate for the gyro? LMAO!
 
You've got it all wrong. Here, associates perform the paralegal work and we hire paralegals to do our secretarial work. Our secretaries clean the bathrooms wash the dishes. If your greek tragedy had happened here, default wouldn't have been taken against you, you would have been able to bill for tons of additional work, and the vomit would have been cleaned up in a jiffy.
 
wow! i can't believe it.
 
Poor you. Wrong choices. But, you got the lesson. But, in my opinion, not all secretary like that, so stupid. Once, I ever have secretary, that really smart, diligent and nimble. Poor me, she's resign, since, she must followed her husband to other town. However, PepsiCo, should evaluate and if necessary fire that secretary. United States Bankruptcy Court
 
LOL! This is hilarious. When I finished the story I was very surprised to see that there were no comments from any secretaries. Maybe over the course of time...
 
Baba, have you actually graduated from law school? Your grammar is atrocious.
 
Probably the reason why no legal secretaries have deigned to comment on this disgraceful (assuming it is tongue in cheek) post is because they are too busy sorting out their boss's mailboxes, desks and life in general.
 
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uh-huh! I say paralegals and secretaries incur a lot of crap from lawyers and take the blame for the lawyers own mistake.

It was probably the lawyers fault and he uses his secretary as a scapegoat.

Of all the nerve!!!


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Its unbelievable that a secretaries small mistake, could cost a company 1.2billion! I dunno what company would ever hire her after that!
People really need to be more careful.
 
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I've always felt like secretaries are the face and voice of a corporation. When you go to court to get Florida bankruptcy records, you have to deal with the slothful bureaucratic mentality that leads to errors like the one described above. But good law firms should use at least a paralegal for even data entry. Like my Arizona CPA, he just has a phone person (secretary) who handles only phone calls - that's it. But if you don't have competent people handling the details you could end up getting eaten alive. I've seen people hounded by a collection agency, just because they messed-up on one important detail that they were too careless to think about. That's Not the kind of thing that should happen at a Law Office though!
 
Why aren't you responsible for your own work your idiot attorney? Typical... blame the secretary for your responsibility. Do a better job next time instead of blaming others. You can't convince me you were surprised at your secretary's poor skill set.
 
i am sure that their aim was to get money and the case with secretary was just comfortable to use against pepsi.
 
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If we relied on secretaries to do important things like get me a highlighter or clean my shoes, they'd never get done and we'd lose billion dollar cases.
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I can't believe on that too.
 
This is why we have the associates do our secretarial work.
 
So we missed bra the deadline, our clients received a default judgment against them, and Gift Gifts Presents Job Jobs I had to come up with a phony excuse about how we did everything schiesser we could but the evidence just wasn't on our side. They paid the bill, so no harm no underwear foul, but it taught me to never put secretaries in charge of anything, ever again.
 
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Wrong choice: the 8th year, senior associate should have dont the labeling, and the 6th the lunch run. You needed at least 7 years of college education and 5 years of professional education for either of those tasks. Of course, as a solo Arizona bankruptcy attorney, I probably would have done both tasks myself.
 
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Our clients should not be entrusted to our sectary or else you may lose millions. Secretaries are hired to do some office jobs not being a lawyer. They can only do small details in our work not the whole.
 
That is really alot of money for not responding to complaint. This should never happen
 
As much as I believe laws and lawyer are here to protect us, mistakes like this should not result in that big of a fine!
 
This is interesting, that is really a big fine for that mistake. Nice post though.
 
Is that unbelievable or what? Simple mistakes can cost you, we all knew that but costing you billions is insane!
 
That is so unfortunate! Talk about the snowball effect..!
 
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I was reading written in various comments poor you, wrong choice. then I start realizing whether I am wrong or right.
 
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You have your point but it is a matter of qualification. You should hire someone that is not just who bring you food but brilliant ideas too. Secretaries of Omaha Divorce Lawyers do their jobs well.
 
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It is really bad to know that what happened to you. Thanks for your post as this will give us a lesson too. To ignore these kind of situation.
 
HEY
U hv done a wrong decision. Its your work to remind all the things. you cant blame your secretary for dis act. Anyways just do ur own work dnt be dependent on others.
 
Poor you your choices for your post as this will give us a lesson too. To ignore these kind of situation.
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Typical... blame the secretary for your responsibility. Do a better job next time instead of blaming others.
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Dude, that was really serious. I hope other companies out there would learn about this. Secretaries as you sa must be given the right job equivalent to thier knowledge. and they should not trust a billion dollar transaction to someone who is not for that job.. wheew.. that was a huge lost. Anyway, you may want to follow me on Aksel Bratvedt
 
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