Tuesday, January 12, 2016

 
To coincide with the President's State of the Union address, I gave a couple of my own little speeches today: a State of the Firm at the office (we're good, but we can always be better, and that means more hours, more networking, and less fiber-- fewer bathroom breaks that way), and a State of the Family at home over breakfast this morning.  I woke New Wife up from her between-night-feedings nap to put something special together to make it a real event (pancakes, eggs, homemade jam) and I held court in front of the Nespresso, announcing that the state of our family is strong, but someone needs to start sleeping through the night already, and someone else needs to stop with the every-other-week $300 hair appointments, and, okay, I guess I can be a little more affectionate and try to put away my phone when I'm rocking Anonymous Baby to sleep.  Or at least I can turn off notifications.  Maybe.  Unless I'm expecting something important to happen.  I really don't know how people had babies before smartphones.  I mean, I guess I did it, but I was never home so it doesn't really count.  Just can't believe people used to use both eyes to watch their kids instead of merely peering over the screen. Crazy.  Anyway, New Wife gave her response and basically disagreed with all of the proposals in my speech, but I control every branch of government in the house (and all the bank accounts), so it's all just meaningless rhetoric.  Can't wait to present her with this year's budget.  

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